Anger

When you’re this angry, your brain LITERALLY CAN’T THINK STRAIGHT. Anger activates your FIGHT response and shuts down the part of your brain that makes good decisions. You may think these steps are stupid because you’re angry, but trust, this will help:

1. Close your eyes and feel where your muscles are flexed… is it your jaw? Fists? Shoulders? Locate the tension.
2. One by one, let those muscles loose and picture water running out of them. If it’s your fists, loosen your grip and picture cool water running out of your fingertips. If it’s your jaw, loosen and imagine water flowing from your jaw muscles.
3. Think about someone you love and respect: grandma, dad, brother, best friend, teacher, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU AT YOUR BEST. Picture their face. What do their hands look like? Imagine them taking a look at your angry thoughts. How would they feel about them?
4. Find your heartbeat. Breathe slower. Feel your heartbeat slow down.

Slow down. Think. Feel your body.

• ANGER TRIES TO TAKE CONTROL OF US. It can make us say and do some really not-good things.


• AFTERWARDS WE REGRET. The problem is, once you’ve said it or done it, you can’t take it back.


• THINK ABOUT A TIME WHEN YOU WISH YOU COULD TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID OR DID. Does it make you cringe a little? Do you find yourself, even now, wishing you could apologize again?


• THINK ABOUT YOUR REGRETS. Are you willing to add another to the list? Do you want to have to ask for forgiveness because you acted out of anger?


• WHAT ARE YOU REALLY MAD ABOUT? It it actually this thing? Or did you come to school mad? Do you have long-term anger at a parent? Sibling? Friend?


• IS THIS REALLY ABOUT POWER? Whatever is making you mad, is it making you feel small? Powerless? Like someone has power over you?

You are in control. You have the power.

• DOES THIS REPRESENT THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE? Take a look at what you are considering doing or saying. Is this in line with how you see yourself or how you want others to see you?


• WHAT OUTCOME ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? Do you want someone to fear you? Do you want to make a point? … or do you just not know what else to do but get mad?


• THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING UNDER THE ANGER. Sometimes it is hidden from us. Is it sadness? Is it fear? Is it loss of control?

Your actions define you. You control who you are.

THE TRUTH IS, PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO DO SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. Are you going to allow them to control how you think, feel and behave? Do you let people control you like that? Because allowing something someone does or says throw you in a rage and puts them in control of you. Think about that.

THINGS I CAN CONTROL:

1. My actions
2. My responses
3. My thoughts
4. My effort
5. My behavior

THINGS I CAN’T CONTROL:

1. Everything else

Your actions define you. You control who you are.